I Can’t Do It Without Robin: Learning to Make it Through Hardships via Cycling

When the gym in my apartment building closed due to covid, my first thought was dread. “Oh I just can’t bear all of this without Robin and the Peloton bike”

See, back in October 2019, I decided to try to learn about motivation. How to motivate our community to reach their goals? How to help them through the bumps along the ballet road and empower them to take control of their journey? 

I’d heard of Peloton, and that they were known for motivating people. And, goodness knows cardio is one of my least favorite activities. But there was a Peloton bike in the apartment building. So I decided to give it a try. 

Let’s see if they can motivate me, and if they can get me to do cardio regularly, how exactly did they do it?

At first, I hopped on the bike with Leanne. I only committed to a 15 minute ride. She was so kind, a former dancer, and over time, her cues helped me really get to know my body. She helped me understand that the new physical sensations of cardio exercise were ok. Apparently I actually had a lot of anxiety surrounding the physical sensations of exercise, which I didn’t even know about. Is it ok to feel out of breath? What if you start getting too hot? Or thirsty? Am I still safe? What if I pass out? Will I pass out? Can I push harder or should I stop? How would I know if I’m crossing that line?

She helped me really tune in, hear those questions, and find answers to them. I gained awareness of what it actually physically felt like when I pushed myself to what I perceived were my limits and then beyond.

For about 2-3 months, I did the exact same 15-minute interval ride many times in a row. Mostly because I was scared to try anything different, and I already knew this workout and what to expect. 

Interestingly, by doing the same exact workout for so long, I started to feel different things and compare how my body changed each day. Didn’t eat enough breakfast? Could see it on the bike. Didn’t sleep well? Feeing sad? All of it was reflected in those numbers on the bike. The ride remained the same, so I could really learn about my mental and physical choices and how they affected my performance. 

I noticed that my mindset was the biggest difference. Feeling defeated at the computer? The bike ride maybe wasn’t so successful, and I’d give up at the end of a hard climb. 

But then, slowly, I started to learn that I could USE the bike to REVERSE those feelings. Feeling frustrated and powerless in life? Well on the bike, I have the power. 

So one day, the building manager, who is always respected for her toughness and sharp mind, said she rode with Robin, and it was so intense but also amazing. She highly recommended it. 

I was scared to leave the comfort of Leanne’s ride that I had been used to, but I tried it. Boy was it intense! 

Robin taught me how to show up. How to fight. How to grunt and cry out to make it through a hard push. That it’s ok to be uncomfortable. She taught me that suffering is an inevitable part of success, but that I’m strong enough to push through it to reach my goals. She taught me that when I feel weak, I just had to come take a ride with her and I would feel strong enough to get through whatever I faced after the ride. Confidence comes from working hard, and trusting yourself that you’re strong enough to get through whatever is in front of you. 

And so, when the gym closed, and all I had was bodyweight to work out with, and Robin’s bike rides were no longer available me (and Peloton was shipping in 6-8 weeks), I felt alone and lost and didn’t know how I would muster the courage to make it through the hardships ahead if I couldn’t train with her. If I couldn’t then go her during my darkest times for help reminding myself what I’m made of. 

It’s funny, because one day on a bike ride, she said that we should be grateful for the opportunity to work hard on the bike, and that it wouldn’t always be there for us. I took that reminder to heart, but didn’t know how soon it would come to an end, or the reason why. 

But, ultimately in the end, Rebecca helped me through it in my apartment. We worked together. She told me that sometimes a workout feels like a tidal wave coming at you, but you just have to keep going, one stroke at a time. And I cried. I cried in that workout, i cried doing my squats and my push ups, because I felt like life was a tidal wave coming at me, but if I just went one stroke at a time with Rebecca, and if I could make it through those 20 minutes of suffering with her, then I could close the Peloton app and make it through the rest of my day. 

And now, I’m just full of gratitude for the community and inspiration that Peloton provides, and what these incredible instructors have taught me about life, myself, showing up, and pushing through. 

All, on-demand, from my tiny spaces. I sweat, cry, suffer, push, and learn about myself. And now, after months of training my mind, I know that every workout will still be crazy hard, but now I trust myself to show up and do the work, and I know that I can get through whatever it is, no matter how much it sucks and how much I want to quit during the process. 

And at my lowest moments, darkest days, I turn to really hard physical movement to help me gain the confidence to keep going.