On Social Media Haters

As my posts have grown more popular, I have begun to see the dark side of social media.

I’m not talking about the critiques on my technique. Those I find quite useful, especially the trends where I hear the same thing over and over again. For example, I receive many many comments on my port de bras not looking good, so I’ve been really motivated to fix it. People are 100% right about that! I’ve never focused on it (mostly because I love the technique of the lower half of the body & turnout, and the upper half has always been a mere afterthought in my mind). And I’m really happy with the progress so far. 

I’m not talking about that. Keep the critiques coming. 

What I’m talking about are the nasty comments, like that I don’t know what I’m doing, puking emoji, that I need to lose weight, that I was taught by incompetent people, tagging their friends on my posts to say they think I’m bad/gross/ugly (sometimes even in other languages), etc. 🙈

I wish I could say these comments and DM’s just roll off my back like nothing. But, in fact, they do sting and make me think twice. And not even necessarily because of the content of the comments themselves, but also as a philosophical question because I don’t understand WHO would be so nasty and WHY they would even bother. Haters gonn’ hate, I guess. 

I’ve always been a people pleaser, seeking external validation in every aspect of my life, from school, to ballet, to my career, to family.  As I’ve grown up, I’ve tried to stop doing that and to only seek validation and approval from within — self-help books, journaling, trying to affirm myself through mantras, etc. But, nothing has really resulted in a change in my mindset. 

Well, perhaps this has been just what I needed. In reflecting on several months of receiving these kinds of messages, as I’ve noticed the impact of the comments dwindle, I have come to realize that they have weirdly helped me become a stronger person, caring less about others and seeking validation and approval only from myself. My sense of self has grown from these kinds of comments, because I have been faced head on with constant disapproval. 

They say if you are afraid of heights, go learn to rock climb. Well, my greatest fear (others not liking me or thinking I’m great) has come to fruition and guess what, nothing bad actually happened! I’m still here, I’m still dancing, I’m still posting online, and my life is the same as ever. 

And that’s pretty freeing. 

So I guess, feel free to keep the hate coming, too.. as it is helping me grow a thicker skin and become the confident and self-assured person who I’ve always wanted to be.